You'll complete TWO peer reviews
Read each of the two drafts.
After reading each draft, respond to the questions below in a reply thread:
1. Summarize below an idea you like–or type out an actual sentence you like–from the paper. Briefly explain below what you like about that idea or sentence.
2. Type out a sentence below that you find confusing or unclear. Explain below why it’s confusing.
3. Look at the writer’s opening paragraph. What could be done to make it more interesting/engaging?
4. Type out below the sentence (or two) that seems to contain the writer's thesis. Does the thesis statement provide a main assertion / point about the images? Is the thesis clear? Are there problems with the thesis (for example, it's too narrow, too broad, or it's just an announcement of a topic)? Explain below.
5. Look for the paragraphs in which the writer offers his/her supporting points. Summarize the supporting points below
6. In each body paragraph that describes the images, are there enough specific details/ examples/ quotes from the images to illustrate the main idea of the paragraph? Are there areas that should be improved? Explain below.
7. In each paragraph that analyzes the images, are there specific references to Kilbourne's or Katz’s video? Is the connection between Kilbourne's/Katz’s ideas and the point the writer wants to make about the iamges clear? Could additional references be made to Kilbourne or Katz? Where?
8. Does the paper have clear organization and transitions? Could the organization or transitions be improved? Explain below.
9. Are sources cited correctly in the text of the paper and in the Works Cited page, according to the MLA guidelines explained in the textbook and in the learning module for the week?
10. Make notes below about any errors you see in punctuation, grammar, or sentence structure.
11. Provide a final word of encouragement to the writer below:
English Composition 1
13 October 2019
This is very unfinished because i’ve been very busy with marching band. Fortunately, i am free all this week so I’ll definitely get it 100% completed!
“Sex Sells.” You've probably heard that phrase everywhere in the media, in the news, in critiques, commentary, advertisement. fsuyvbehujauevbehqshfdshjcfnclnini These two ads, both for alcohol, one subtly promoting rape culture, interrets Kilburne’s ideas that women are depicted as almost objects solely for sex; which is very harmful and humiliating to a woman’s mental health.
The first image, posted onto what appears as a window at a bus stop, presents what most would call and “ugly” woman. She’s heavyset, wearing a blue jacket over a patterned black and white shirt. An orange necklace lies around her neck and she’s gingerly holding a thick pink handbag. Her right arm is lifted up, directing the viewer’s eyes to her face, while her pointer finger is touching the tip of her tongue. Short dark messy hair frames her pear-shaped face, and only then do you notice her red lips, squinted smoky eyes, and drawn-on eyebrows. Her nose is big, cheeks are chubby, and her neck is thick. The woman is placed onto a red-to-black gradient background, giving an ominous feeling to the image. About one-fifth of the advertisement is covered by text that reads “If i start to look sexy, book a taxi! Don’t make bad decisions because you’ve had one too many!”
HOW DOES THIS IMAGE AFFECT US TODAY
The second image is found in a twitter post by Belvedere Vodka, who are trying to advertise their alcohol. The image showcases a man and a woman. The entire image is in greyscale and taken in an action shot, so there is a bit of motion blur. They’re sitting on what appears to be a couch in a living room. The man, wearing a half unbuttoned white shirt, an undone tie, and a sinister smile, has his arms wrapped around the torso and chest of a terrified woman. Her hair is tied back and she’s wearing a black jacket and a subtle pearl necklace. She’s afraid and trying to escape his grasp with her mouth agape and her eyes wide. Her back is turned to him and she’s trying to pull her jacket back up over her breast as she attempts to escape. About a fourth of the image is covered by white words with a slight drop shadow that reads “Unlike some people, Belvedere always goes down smoothly”.
HOW DOES THIS IMAGE AFFECT US TODAY
TIE THE TWO PICS TOGETHER
13 October 2019
As we all know women pose to sell such expensive products and also grab the attention of others. We also find out how the public is sexualizing women in a way that also degrades them. We tend to get away from the fact of how this is not only just women that is men as well. Men have the same expectations set on them and are sexualized the same way women are. Men and women on a daily basis go through a battle of comparing themselves to the ads we see. We may not see them through stores, but we are constantly on our phones and social media seeing not only models for ads, but people who are what you could say “perfection” and that's something we all want to be. With my two ads represents a clothing brand known as Calvin Klien that partakes in using body image to catch the eye of the public, also using a male and female to describe how not only are women objectified but males are as well and they feel the same set standards as we do.
This image is of a woman who has both hands grasping her hair and pushing it up, her posture also seems to be as if she is arching up and propping herself up on a pillow. She is very slim, almost as if she has the “perfect” body image, and she is also very beautiful, almost effortlessly beautiful. The setting of this photo gives off a sexy and edgy vibe, the photo is taken in a bedroom, where the camera is facing behind her but also able to get her reflection in the mirror, causing you to be able to see both behind and in front of the model. The lighting seems to be dim creating that sexy vibe, also they highlight parts of her body to attract eyes to those parts of her creating also that edgy vibe. The setting in the room is just a simple bedroom nothing extra that draws your attention to it, they make the model the main focus of this image.
My idea I'm trying to portray is from Kilbourne’s video of how women are sexualized from the public, also how they are made to seem better than they are. In the video Jean Kilbourne states “I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford” (Killing Us Softly 4). This was said through the model herself Cindy Crawford, she says this due to the fact that photo editors edit her pictures to the point of perfection. Just like the woman pictured in my photo she is edited to perfection, she doesn't have a single blemish or wrinkle and is effortlessly perfect and beautiful. This forces woman that won’t ever look like her, to want to look like her, which creates a very unhealthy lifestyle for women because we are constantly compared to other women who look better than us. This then pushes some of us to start unhealthy habits and pay for alterations to our bodies that do NOT need it. Also Kilbourne states in her video “Ana Carolina Reston who died a year ago of anorexia weighing 88 pounds.” (Killing Us Softly 4). This woman lost her life due to the completion of getting to be a smaller model because as we all know models have only been continuing to get smaller. They have gotten so small to the point photo shop has made them ridiculously small, to the point it's impossible to be that tiny. We degrade women so much about weight that it has become disgusting. We have so many ways to dangerously get rid of “fat” that could cost the lives of many women. Although we want the perfect bodies is it really worth killing ourselves for?
In this ad you will see a man who seems to have wet hair, one of his hands are on his upper thigh and his other hand raised trying to cover the camera. His leg is propped up on the bath and he is in nothing but underwear, also he is shown to be very slim and masculine. His posture seems to be sluggish and sluchy to give off a “bad boy” vibe, meaning to create a sexier feel to the photo. This photo gives off a sexy vibe, such as the setting of this is taken in a shower and the model seems to be wet and wearing almost nothing at all. The photographer took this photo straight in the model. In doing so you can see shiny parts of the body which are highlighted to draw your attention to them such as his torso.
This ad is using a male and although Kilbourne mainly speaks about the women are sexualized, she speaks briefly on how men are as well. This is a topic I feel is mostly dismissed because women are always mostly shown off as easy objects and we care most about our looks. Although this may be true, we fail to realize that men go through similar situations. As stated in Kilbourne’s video “but when men are photoshopped they are made bigger” (Killing Us Softly 4). This is showing how women strive to be smaller and thinner, men are trying to become bigger and muscular. Men walk around with the same issues as women, they are sexualized and have standards set for themselves to be better. This creates unhealthy habits such as taking drugs to make themselves appear bigger, rather than doing the healthier version of getting bigger by working to get there. Men also may have trouble growing facial hair and we see men with flawless facial and compare other men who may have trouble growing facial. Also stated in Kilbourne’s video “Your penis may be too small, too limp, too droopy, too lopsided, too narrow, too fat, too pale, too pointy, to blunt, or just two inches” (Killing Us Softly 4). Although this is a touchy subject it is something that degrades men tremendously. Men get seen as objects just as much as women do if not it's worse for men. Saying such things to men can not only cause depression but it causes them to want to get dangerous surgeries that could take their life all because of something they were born with. This could degrade a man's confidence and with the ads we see of men showing their private areas it's almost impossible to compare them to normal guys today, but as humans we still do it.
Overall with my two pictures represents a clothing brand known as Calvin Klien that partakes in using body image to catch the eye of the public, also using a male and female to describe how not only are women objectified but males are as well and they feel the same set standards as we do. With taking in knowledge of these two ads, men can be seen as objects just as much as women are seen as objects. That being said almost anyone can be represented as an object with how they put themselves out there for the world to see them. We can change this we could create diversity in our ads not only will it open the public's eye but we can create an image for people to always feel good about themselves.
Killing Us Softly 4: Advertising's Image of Women. Created by Jean Kilbourne, Media Education Foundation, 2010.
Calvin Klien. Advertisement. Underwear. https://www.calvinklein.us/en/womens-underwear-shop-all . Accessed 7 October 2019.
Calvin Klien. Advertisement. Underwear. https://www.calvinklein.us/en/mens-underwear-shop-all . Accessed 7 October 2019.